Fat? Yes? Read on!

If you’re a plus sized woman and you’re looking to find a partner, but haven’t had any luck at all – here’s what you need to know. From one fat girl to another – and no I don’t endorse the word fat but still wanted to use it as it hits harder than the politically correct ‘plus-sized’

Welcome to my world!

Dating 101 for Fat girls in my country:

Lesson 1 – Don’t think a guy is nice until he’s actually nice to you for a while

Lesson 2 – Work on being skinny or thin cause your personality doesn’t count for anything

Lesson 3 – Looks aren’t important. Only a tight bum and well-formed boobs (a guy’s language not mine) make all the difference

Lesson 4 – Don’t ever tell a guy you like him till he tells you the same a few times first

Lesson 5 – Please don’t waste time perfecting your speech or going to finishing school. Men don’t care as long as you can wear a short dress and look hot

Lesson 6 – I know the above to have exceptions but most fat girls aren’t exceptions so don’t wait to be one

Lesson 7 – If a guy you like asks you about your hot, single friends, dump him right there. The end to this is never pleasant

More to come as I figure things out, hopefully without experiencing them first hand lol.

Peace and Love ❤

Snarky Shark!

Okay so I’m going to dive into this one pretty quick. Men are always complaining about how profile pictures of women are oh so misleading because of makeup and picture editing apps etc.

That’s one of my grievances with men. Why do you guys have all that facial hair which makes you look so darn different from the other pictures you have on your profile? And, what is up with you guys posting pictures from like 10 years ago when age hadn’t caught up with you?

Let me not comment on the way you pose – in the car, outside the car, next to the pool, in the loo, just after a shower, on the bed (those fake bedroom eyes fool no one 🙄). Oh and did I mention the gym pictures? Yikes. Those are super scary. And if you’re looking to use photo editing apps – ask your wives or girlfriends or sisters (like we don’t know how many married men are on dating sites) to help you with the apps. The highest level of editing aka removing all lines from your face makes you look like Botox junkie lol.

Coming back to the married men – who are looking for ‘like minded friends (especially of the female kind) or to have meaningful conversations or to go for a movie/dinner/coffee/drives with’ on a freaking dating app. Come on – what do you take the world to be? Stupid? Spend that time you waste on an app with your better half and life might actually turn around for you.

For guys with man-boobs, please don’t wear spandex of any sort or a vest. Women don’t need competition in this area. Like really. All women aren’t well endowed just like all men aren’t. So……

To the rest of you, please take 5 minutes to write an interesting bio. No we don’t want to know how good you are under the covers, but we would love to know how your brains work and if you’re interesting enough for us to invest our time on you.

I apologise to the men who were hurt by this post, since my blog is about celebrating the Male kind but come on guys! You’re better than what you portray yourselves to be. At least some of you are. I mean it! And please coordinate shirts with pants, belts with shoes, socks with pants, do wear socks with all shoes other than loafers and take those stupid sunglasses off! You like looking at a woman’s eyes, well we like looking at yours.

Yeah I’m done here. You’re welcome!

The Rajput

So what is it about some people that makes you want to go that extra mile or spend time and energy on them? We all know time is the most precious thing for anything with an expiry date – including ourselves, so this post is about The Rajput and my time!

I came across The Rajput on a dating app (not tinder – I have never been on tinder for the record lol). He seemed like a decent guy with normal pictures. Not the usual – posing in the gym where one can clearly see fabs instead of abs and the non-existent biceps. Oh and not to forget the posing next to a fancy car picture – usually with tacky sunglasses on. For those who haven’t been on a dating app and want to join one – swipe left to the men who post the above pictures. You’ll thank me later for that info lol

So he and I struck off well. A happy time indeed. He was quite a gorgeous specimen of the Male kind. Nice voice, deep eyes, tall – stood out like a warm blooded stallion in a room full of ponies!

Things were going well. Conversations flowed for a month or so. I really liked him. He had a stable job, didn’t come from too much money (which I like in a man), good education, well-mannered and clean lol. Yes I like clean men! Older than I for once, so the overall picture looked peachy. Until I decided to not be myself and told him I liked him. And…I…was…rejected. He wanted someone physically appealing and I happened to be a fat, but not an unfortunate looking girl – so…

Anyhow to each his own. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to be with someone hot or a girl who is physically fit. The problem arose when he and I stopped talking, and a year later, I found him on a social networking site and sent him a request.

Turns out he was living and working in a neighbouring country and doing quite well for himself. He accepted. I sent him a message – you know the works with my phone number. Much to my shock – he called! Said he was flying down and would be all mine for a day after he landed. So me being me – planned out a nice day. A day he would’ve enjoyed immensely if only he hadn’t stood me up lol. No surprise there I guess. It did seem too good to be true, you know.

So to cut a long story short – there was a message and an unfriending and finally this post. Good riddance or not, the fault lies with me I feel. I give away my time freely and keep giving people chances to prove me wrong over again, but that never happens. The warm blooded stallion reduced to a pony – what a waste! If only he knew the real meaning of receiving such a compliment. I thought he’d understand considering the little education I received about horses was from him!

So The Rajput – here I am spending another 20 minutes of my time, writing about you. Do you deserve this time – probably not, but like I said in the beginning, there are people whom we want to go an extra mile for – reasons unknown of course 😏. Someday you and I both, might get/understand our own parts! Until then – onto the next one…

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So this brings me to my second post of the Mr. Green Eyes series. I’m sure the ones who read the first one would be wondering who Mr. Green Eyes was and what exactly happened with him?

Well, as the not so subtle visual states – I got rejected! A term I don’t like to use because it’s really final, but I’m going to here as nothing better could describe my feeling. He rejected me on February 11th, 2018 so yes, I’m a little late in updating you guys lol.

How am I feeling? Well, at first, my blood ran cold and I just wanted to cuddle with my dog and sleep. I was shivering, but I picked myself up, went in for a scalding hot bath and dragged my arse to work – The happiest place on the planet – My work space!

A few people were over for meetings, so things were better than expected. Mr. Green Eyes texted me in the evening, but I asked him not to so that I could keep my promise to myself that I would move on as soon as I got my answers.

Some of my friends feel I aim too high. They think good-looking or handsome men aren’t for me as I suffer from weight issues. I too sometimes feel that I should have a good look in the mirror, see myself physically before I approach any guys because frankly, that’s the way the world sees me. Having a good personality or an empathetic nature are things of the past it seems. Anyhow, I know I’ll be hot again once I shed off the kilos, but till then I’ll take a break, keep a low profile and concentrate on taking my work and my company where they deserve to be.

Besides that, I’m not sad. Just disappointed. The tightness in my chest is gone and so is the constant anxiety I had when Green Eyes was around.

I guess every dog has his day and this bitch will have hers soon lol! As my rescue doggy taught me – Never Say Die (she came back from death twice) and Never Lose Hope! Two lessons I take very seriously.

So I will stay hopeful, happy and positive – another promise I made to myself. Can’t help but say – Optimistic much!?! I guess so lol

 

Mr. Green Eyes

There are times in life when one wants to write something aimless. I’m not sure if this is aimless, but I’ll try to keep it simple and honest.

I want to talk about the biggest woe in my life currently – the fact that I’ve been single for 8 years. To some of you it may seem weird or downright unhealthy, for me it was a way to observe, grow and figure out what I wanted in life and to be able to be settled and confident enough to enter the daunting world of dating.

I thought I’d start 2018 on a note different from all other years – a year where I’d go for what I wanted – be it a thing, a job or a man! Why sit around waiting for a guy to approach me. Heck! I’ll approach him. I even joined a dating app, met some nice men on there and then, not so nice ones, but that’s a part of life. Good and bad, ugly and beautiful, light and dark – all goes hand in hand.

If I were to get into specifics then I came across some incredible men I really liked. Now before anyone says you can’t judge a person without knowing them, then I agree but I’m slightly more organic in my approach. I understand and work on vibes, on observations (especially people I see everyday) – like this absolutely amazing guy I had a crush on since October of last year, who happens to manage the cafe right next door. I asked him out to coffee, he couldn’t, he’s committed but I can’t say I didn’t try. I can only imagine on the surface though, how lucky his girl is.

Couple of other guys here and there but nothing concrete till I came across Mr. Green Eyes. Yes that’s what I’m going to call him from now on for all events and purposes lol!

My eyes just teared up thinking about him, but in a good way (I can be an emotional fool sometimes). I understand various human feelings like attraction, lust, infatuation etc., but I don’t understand what it is I feel about him or feel for him. He seems just right you know! Like close to being perfect. I’m going all out for this guy but so far, it’s been a rough road where I’ve only managed to stumble and fall in his eyes. Those amazing Green eyes!

My gut feeling has never been wrong and it’s been telling me not to let go. That he may be the one. Is that too much pressure on a guy – Hell yeah! I think so, but I can’t seem to understand what he wants or needs for me to tweak my approach or interactions with him.

The strange thing is that I’m a very private person when it comes to matters of the heart, but here I am baring my innermost thoughts and my soul for this one guy.

I think it’s come to a point where perhaps this guy – Good ‘ol Green eyes and all my friends think I’m desperate. But! My reasoning is – if we can go after the jobs we want, the pet we want, even the dessert we want with our whole heart, then what’s wrong with me going after and making efforts for this guy. I’m not desperate, I’m just waiting on answers and the second I get them – positive or negative, I’ll carry on with my life – with or without him.

Well, here I am sitting on my cool couch in a gorgeous store wearing a short dress and silver boots with stockings (don’t judge me on this, I am a lover of fashion lol) holding onto a fountain pen (yes this was originally written by hand) and putting down my thoughts on this paper.

I’ve also realised that I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy. The days of hurting myself internally are long gone. I only live for today and if I’m alive then look forward to seeing tomorrow.

What am I looking for would perhaps be my next question and answer – I’m looking to share my wonderful life, my happy times, my achievements with a nice partner. A solid rock of a man who takes everything in his stride just like I do, but if he were to falter then he can be sure of my presence and stability to see him through. Does a man like that exist?

I happen to think so. I’ll be sitting here I guess, waiting and watching with my fingers crossed and with an open heart – ready to receive!